Saturday, Sept. 27, 2003 - 4:38 p.m.

They took away my brain, I didn't feel no pain, they took away my brain and now I. Feel.. FIIIIIINE!

Cue imps doing a dance of the 'Merry Jig' sort

Yes. I'm here today to introduce some imps. You can't see them, because they're here, but they are an interesting bunch.

IMPS: THE TRUE STORY

I found the imps in a place not far from here. You see...

...I was walking through a field one day, admiring the wonder of nature (isn't it great?) when I fell down a hole! Inside the hole were lots of little people, with little shovels. They were digging! Silly little digging things. I talked to them, but they didn't understand me, but then I gave them some chocolate BEANS and now they're my friends.

We all live in a giant UNDERGROUND mansion, like the turtles, only a mansion. With no poo-pipes.

Yes.

I taught the imps how to dance, and how to sing. They can't sing in any language we know, but we need to become more receptive to other cultures.

Now, close your eyes, and think about the dancing imps, wailing in their own tuneless way. It's a nice image.

(I wrote this, because I wanted to update this)