Monday, Sept. 02, 2002 - 3:14 p.m.

Shmingly dingly.

I thought I'd do an update proper, not just recycle some ancient crap that I have lying around, so here, people, is an entry. Possibly. Maybe. I'm not suuure...

----

So, once upon a time, in a land with blue skies and green fields, lived a miserable little toad, called Box. Box didn't know where his name came from, or why he was miserable, he just was Box.

One day, Box decided to visit his friend, the happy, non-copyright infringing frog, Shmermit. Shmermit was a happy frog, and would bounce and sing, and bounce, and sing. Everyone loved Shmermit.

When Box went to visit Shmermit, though, he discovered Shmermit had exploded. Another victim of those cruel people and their straws, it seemed. Box was sad, for a while, he missed Shmermit, but then he decided that he wasn't really that much more miserable than normal, so went somewhere else.

He went to visit the fish, at the bottom of the pond, but when he got there he discovered that they were all floating upside down, and some of them had turned green. Box shrugged as well as a toad can shrug, and hopped off to find something else to do.

Box hopped his way to the spider's web, where his old friend Spindly McDindly, the spider, lived. As he approached, he saw Spindly sat on his web, staring at nothing in particular.

"Spindly!" He cried.

"Box." The spider acknowledged, before staring off at nothing again.

"What are you staring at today, Spindly?" asked the curious toad.

"I'm staring at that area over there," he waved one of his 8 legs vaguely. "It's very pretty, you can see the sun catch on the drops of dew, and my web and the dead flies enclosed are highlighted very well."

"I've never really seen the world the way you see it, Spindly." said Box, who couldn't for the life of him see where this story was going, but went along with it anyway. "You see, to me life is one long, boring, trudgelike thing. Nothing ever changes, for the better, and it's all just bad."

"Box, you're a miserable little toad, you are, but never mind, I will educate you." The spider smiled. "Look, for instance, at that dead bird over there. The maggots crawling in its flesh, and the flies that grow from them, signify rebirth! A spider will feed on the flies, a small child will feed on the spider, and a seagull will feed on the small child! This cycle is the beauty of life, see it this way, and you cannot fail to be happy!"

Box wasn't convinced. "So, you're saying that, if I were to view rotting seabird as good, and maggots as nice, then I would be happier? How can this work? What the hell is the point of this conversation? This entire day has been a huge compilation of complete utter irrelavancies!!"

"No, you must not view it as a rotting seagull, but as new birth! Your perception is what misleads you. Also, your adventures today obviously had a point, you're just a stupid character and you're not meant to know what's happening to you."

"Oh." said Box, sadly. "I don't think my perception can change, though."

"You're probably right, Box, I'm sorry I brought this up. Wanna go catch flies at the pond?"

"The pond's not looking too good, the fish are all dead, the flies'll probably be big enough to eat us. Look, never mind, sorry for bothering you. I'll go off now, do something else. Sorry."

And so Box hopped away, completely bewildered.